In belated honour of Burn´s Night , plus the fact that we have a Scottish Deputy-Deputy Chair and this week we had a Scottish prospective new member, Nan Holcroft, I searched high and low for an inspiring photo from over the border.

I feel this picture says what the Writers´Group is about. The true spirit of seeking new inspiration, pushing the envelope, as the modern parlance goes and, despite being at times set back on your heels by what you discover, having the courage to go forward, undismayed.

We showed our True Grit on Wednesday when, despite our Guiding Light Nik being brought low by a fiendish bug, our valiant Deputy Leader Rob led the group through the horrors of a HOT PEN.

The word was Chest. After the initial stunned shock when all eyes were focussed for some reason on Glyn, everyone set to work and ten minutes later, the fruits of our labours were revealed.

Lisa, Gerry, Rosemary, Jane, Ann F, Mary M, Mary K, Rita, Alan, Christina and Rob all wrote pieces centering on wooden chests found in attics or cupboards and which contained a variety of interesting things. Gerry´s and Ann F´s were both thought to have intriguing follow-up possibilities.

Pat, Chris, Ann B, Douglas, Glyn, and Heinke all went more physical, with interesting results.

Despite it being a Hot Pen Day, nine people had written pieces to read out. Since there wasn´t time for everyone, Ann F and Gerry are to have first go next week.

Mary wrote a piece called Bosom Friends which was uncannily on target for the Hot Pen word, about her girlish Tackle arriving too late and too little.

Heinke´s Toilet Seekers described a true incident on one of the Monday Walkers´ outings.

Glyn read out part of a screenplay set in a British Legion club with 2 members discussing the proposed closedowns of the military stations at Aldershot and Shrewsbury.

Alan gave us another episode in the life of Spike the dog, where Spike goes through his Rites of Passage with Mabel, a bit of a trollopy bitch renowned for putting it about.

Rita gave us more of her cruise diary, this time from Odessa.

Douglas surprised us all with his description of an attempted robbery at the charity office he was working at, which he managed to foil with a well-aimed kick.

Finally, Rosemary asked for suggestions for a sub-heading to her diary about learning Spanish as an adult, Out of the Learner´s Mouth.

Since it was a cold, windy day, very few customers turned up to the car boot and they were gone by the time our coffee break began so all-in-all, we weren´t disturbed by them.

Thanks to Jane for her generous ( desperate? ) distribution of lemons from her tree.

To the next time!

Chris J

Need more on POV?

Point of View seems to be the 'in' topic at the moment - following on from Lorraine Mace replying to my POV question in her feature in 'Words with Jam' the Womag blog also offers useful advice on the subject.

Womag Blog

also contains information on Women's magazine submission guidelines.

Rob Innis

Member Published on Expatify Site

Our Deputy Chairman, Rob Innis, has just had his 2nd article published online on the Expats site - Expatify.

Entitled:

"10 Reasons to Move to Spain"

and is illustrated with some of Rob's own photos. (Spot the TWC-er, in another photo)

This follows his first article:

"10 Things You Didn't Know About Spain Until You Lived Here"

published in 2009 and currently the sites 5th most viewed article.

BANGING AWAY AT THE BACK (not that sort of banging!)

Rob was Chairman this week as Nik had to do some babysitting. He reported on a new Magazine called Platinum Page. He has had a story printed in issue 2 and Gerry has also sent one. Issues are £3.99 each but they may be available on a subscription basis later on. If you log on to Rob’s blog the details are available there. Another useful website WOMAG can also be linked from our blog.

Ian gave details of the new writing circle that started last Friday. He and a few other members of TWC went along to see what it was all about. They will be giving out information about competitions and help through a form of networking. They are not restricted to specific types of writing; features will include poetry and script writing. They are looking to set up a website and blog. The next one will be held at Maggie’s Bar at 9.30 on 12 February.

Gerry read out the beginning of a historical story which will go back 150 years. A young couple stood looking at graves. He had tanned skin and was of Red Indian blood, she was fair with blond hair and blue eyes. The story would revolve around racial tension concerning their different cultures. The group thought it was very descriptive. Gerry received some useful feedback from the group.

Jane’s contribution was a story called Water. It started with her broken washing machine which made her think about the Haiti earthquake and the fact that across the world there is no water to drink. She resolved not to take water for granted and to change her washing machine.

Heather had written a story about a school where a TV documentary was being made about the return of a pop star to the school he attended when a boy. They were going to interview Mr Slater who had been at the school for 35 years and ran the choir. When it was edited down the programme only showed one verse of the song the choir had rehearsed. As Mr Slater was an old-fashioned teacher, Heather had used old-fashioned words to describe him.

Anne’s contribution was a report of her Mediterranean cruise at Christmas time. She described how tips were involved in everything paid for on the cruise and also when they docked, even the horse on the horse drawn carriage wanted a tip! It was a descriptive account of her travels. Rob said that one of the Sunday papers is asking for people to send in 500 words about their holiday experiences. These are two possible contacts:
http://www.heritagemagazine.co.uk/Editorial

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/travel-writing-competition/

Mary K’s input was a poem (although it didn’t always rhyme) called the Love Child. ‘I have loved you from the start my precious darling baby boy.’ It was an evocative tale of a young girl awaiting the arrival of her baby with excitement and fear as the child’s father was married, ‘so there is only me and you.‘

Rita’s story was about the youth of today. It revolved around a museum in New York where an exhibition of El Greco’s paintings was being held, and the interest shown in El Greco’s life by the young people.

Glyn told us that the next part of his story was a serious bit but there was no swearing. (Wot!) It tells of youths in balaclavas entering their barrack room and beating Jock up for some supposed insult to them. They were like a pack of hyenas. The other boys covered their ears and didn’t get involved. It was very graphic and hit the spot!

Alan continued his story of Spike the dog. His family were talking about going on a summer holiday. He didn’t know what that meant but he had heard that it involved going to live somewhere else for a couple of weeks. He didn’t see the point but was on his best behaviour anyway. There was talk of flying to their holiday destination and he hadn’t realised that humans could fly! It was very amusing. Feedback was that more tension would help the story along.

Maureen’s story was a celebration of the men in her life. A list of good things about men included their sense of humour, their strength, they are protective, practical, courageous, chivalrous and they know about the offside rule. Some of the women felt a bit cheated as the men they knew had none of the attributes listed (except knowing about the offside rule).

Brenda continued Belle’s story. She was now reading her mother’s second diary, which she didn’t know existed. The language was evocative of the East End (skin and blisters for sisters). Her mother told of going to see where her dad had worked. She met a young man on the bus and we were just about to hear about her first sexual experience when time ran out and it was 1 o’clock. Let’s hope we continue the story next week! There was feedback about the language but as Brenda pointed out, Belle was using the language that she was used to.

Another enjoyable and provocative meeting, with people in the background hammering away making up the stage for the panto at the end of the month, and the market outside.

Cynthia

Washington Post´s Clever Words Competition

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

Even the goat thinks these are funny!




The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.) the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.) appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v..) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4.. Esplanade (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.) impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly
answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.) to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are
run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.) a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n) a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.) (back by popular demand): The belief that, when
you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.


The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:

1. Bozone (n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Cashtration (n.) The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period

3. Giraffiti (n) Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

4.. Sarchasm (n) The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.

5. Inoculatte (v) To take coffee intravenously when you are running
late.

6. Hipatitis (n) Terminal coolness.

7. Osteopornosis (n) A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
credit.)

8. Karmageddon (n) It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like,
a serious bummer.

9. Decafalon (n.) The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.

10. Gilbido (v) All talk and no action.

11. Dopelar effect (n) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
when they come at you rapidly.

12. Arachnoleptic fit (n.) The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.

13. Beelzebug (n.) Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into
your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

14. Caterpallor (n.) The color you turn after finding half a grub in the
fruit you're eating..

15. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole


Here´s to their next competition!

CJ

Strive to be the best

An interesting article by Clint Eastwood in today’s MoS about his film, Invictus, concerning Nelson Mandela and the Rugby World Cup. Eastwood says, ‘I believe that if you strive to be the best you can be, you will find, in some way, that things will happen for you.’ I believe that too. So, no matter if you know that other writers have had inferior work published, don’t despair: in your writing, strive to be the best you can possibly be, and be true to yourself.

The film’s title is from a poem by William Ernest Henley that inspired Mandela during his 27 years in prison.

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

And it's a poem that rhymes...
Nik

I am Chuffed

Just seen a review of the Expats anthology I was published in -

"Next comes some short stories with Mediterranean Lady Seeks A Friend, a noir-ish tale of scams before the euro being my favorite. I just wish it were a bit longer"

Ironically my story was originally longer. I had written it for a competition but due to confusion I missed the submission date (lesson learnt) and edited it for submission to the book.

Rob Innis