Friday, 4 December 2009

IT'S NEARLY CHRISTMAS!

Nik read out the story which will be published in the Winter edition of the magazine Telling Tales - “Remorseless Time”, which is about behaviour control in the near-future. He also read out the Secret Seven Sins committed by many contestants in the recent Harlequin novel competition...

Glyn continued his novel about Ned and his first day in the Army. The recruits were all starving and making their way to the cookhouse at dawn. They could see the food there which was for special people like the boxing team, which consisted of sausage, bacon and all the trimmings. Unfortunately that food was taken away and replaced by PSE, processed scrambled eggs, dried up beans, and sausages which looked like pigs' willies, and thick lumpy porridge. The recruits thought the food could not taste worse than it looked but they were wrong. Everyone enjoyed the continuing saga.

Nik said, "It was food for thought" and Rob said, "Don’t egg him on." When will the puns dry up? Is there an association called Puns Anonymous which they could be sent to for treatment?

Ian read a story called “The cutting edge.” The main character was a surgeon and it was his job to perform the tricky operation. They were in Camp bastion, Helmund province, Afghanistan where it is not unknown for soldiers to be blown up by IEDs. The surgeon removed the layers of flesh, then .... there was a very neat twist at the end which I won’t reveal. Everyone thought it was a cracking story and festive to boot.

Joy read a poem called “Life’s a bitch’ about having a tooth abscess and root canal problems which gave her a rash; the antibiotics the doctor gave her made her face swollen and she was off to Benidorm for the weekend not being able to have a drink, while her friends were drinking wine. One bonus was that the swelling smoothed all her wrinkles out. If only that could be patented! Enjoyable as always.

Jenny read a poem about complacency. It was about a homeless person and was very sad. The past was best forgotten and there was no future.

Mary’s story was about the time when she was a teacher called “Flash of fame”. It concerned a visit from Blue Peter. She was thrust into the limelight against her wishes and a programme appeared on Panorama and Blue Peter showing her in her baggy tracky bottoms, which she had tried to avoid. Her stories are always good fun.

Mary M read a poem about random thoughts:
As I lie in my bed many thoughts go through my head
The smell of granny’s baking bread, news of children not being fed
Many bodies lying dead, standing near the garden shed
The bonfire turning faces red, little puppies being bred to test the drugs and give them cred
Wish lists up the chimney sped, Santa coming on his sled
The step on the stairs bringing dread, the beating after which you bled
The holy bible being read, the rosary being said

Heather’s story concerned a single mum and her baby. “Mrs M will be round saying oh poor you when really she wanted to make sure the baby was being looked after OK”. “Most men think babies are a pain in the arse!” How true that is. The girl admits she was stupid to have this baby. She should have talked like a ‘les’ then she wouldn’t have strayed in the graveyard with Jay. She didn’t mind being pregnant because people had to talk to her, and there was a lot of fuss. “When did it fade into nothing? This world is shite and there is only me to blame.” Everybody thought it was a fabulous story and very sad. Jenny suggested that it could be read at a performance evening where there could also be poetry reading.

Maureen read out something which she wrote for the Lonely Planet website: “Africa the hard way, a beginner’s guide.” It told of a holiday where the kitty was seldom enough to provide meals as it had to provide the driver with his beer. Africa proved not as romantic for the travellers as they had imagined. Following several mishaps eventually their battered transport gave out in the Namibian desert. Maureen said the holiday was, however, fabulous.

Gerry’s contribution was about justice. The jury said not guilty even though everyone knew the people in the dock had done it. An old couple had been attacked in their home, the police found the husband dead and the old lady died 2 days later. Loopholes used by the defence counsel meant that both brothers were acquitted. Rick was the grandson of the old couple and was determined to wreak vengeance for their death. He texted the eldest brother, "You are about to die." That was half of the story so we wait to hear if the brothers got their just desserts. Very entertaining.

I think I forgot someone, apologies for that.

That was the end of another good meeting.

Cynthia

1 comment:

  1. Yes another packed meeting, but not a mince pie or Kindle in sight........

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