In the absence of Nik and Rob, Ian was asked to chair the meeting.
Apologies were tendered for John Edwards, Chris and, for the first half of the meeting, Lisa.There were 19 members in attendance.
Due to the impending changes regarding chairman/vice-chairman it was agreed that the first part of the meeting should be dedicated to resolving the various administrative issues.
It was first of all agreed that we should publically acknowledge the contribution made by Nik to the success of the Circle over the last few years.
Discussion took place on the appointment of the various office bearers, duties to be carried out, the general running of the group and it was agreed that:
(a) Ian should be chairperson,
(b) Anne F should be vice-chairperson with Anne's proviso that this would be reviewed after 3 months,
(c) Ann B would continue to collect the weekly fees and be responsible for finance.
(d) Different members should assist by writing the weekly blog.
It was also agreed that, largely speaking, the meetings would continue to be run as they are at the moment, with the venue and fees remaining the same, suggested weekly themes would continue to encourage all members to write as well as provide feedback, good and bad, to those who read each week. The suggested themes would include the use of "hot pens" and would, very occasionally, include weeks specific for poetry.
Some changes agreed were that the lottery should be discontinued, the suitcase of books was no longer required as English books were now readily available at various venues, a decision to be taken later as to the subscription to various magazines.
All of the above took up the first half of the meeting.
Jane started the second part of the meeting with a reworked version of her story "Banged Up Abroad", in which she is incarcerated in an Albanian jail for alleged spying.This was a shortened version of the original and although much more tightly written the general feeling of the group was that it could be easily expanded with more description, speech and personalisation.
Gerry then gave us "The Failed Poet's Lament" which detailed the problems encountered in writing poetry. Again this was a piece well written with the use of good rhyme.
Anne G read her contribution "The Gift Of Life". Feedback on this was good but had to be curtailed as we exceeded our time frame.
Ian C
Sunday, 23 January 2011
Saturday, 15 January 2011
Full House
This week's meeting had 25 members in attendance plus 2 guests ( Nik's visitors ). The themes for this week were "Divorce" or "Church Bells". Before the meeting started, Nik announced that there had been a small win on the lottery which brought the funds up to approximately 200€.
Alan started the session with a story entitled "Parting Of The Ways" and told of the appointment of a new manager in the office which leads to an affair and subsequent divorce. This was a good sustained piece for Alan as this was outwith his comfort zone.
Heinke followed on with her tale called "The Fish Ladder" and tells the story of a couple visiting a Hydro-Electric dam where the salmon, returning to their breeding grounds, have to use the fish ladder. It also concerned the couple with the male partner yearning for his youth while the female is more pragmatic. Again this was well written but it was thought that the section relating to the swallow chicks should be omitted as this was unnecessary.
Brenda took inspiration from the subject of cot death for her narrative dealing with a wife's resentment which leads to her murdering her husband. This was a very entertaining piece.
Anne G also used the theme of divorce for her item about married life and eventual breakup. This was a good piece of fiction with lots of good description.
Mary K's poem "With This Ring" used both themes taking us from church bells announcing marriage which ends up in divorce.
Mary S gave us a piece entitled "Church Bells of St. Mary's" and was about the memories of her home town she recalled while doing research into her family tree.
Ann B's poem "Divorce" was a celebration of a woman's new found freedom and provided a different slant on the subject.
Chris gave us a reworked version of "Going Home" now written from the man's point of view. This was considered to be better than the original although some members still did not get the ending.
Ann F did another letter from a daughter to her mother. This time it was the wife of Noah talking about the trials and tribulations of having to build a ship as well as catch animals. This was an extremely funny item and it was suggested that this form part of a series of similar letters.
Before commencing his reading, John McGregor announced that his book about hit time in the RAF had been published and that he did have a few copies with him. John was congratulated on his success. His reading for this week was about football matches for his employer and was specifically about a match between his team and one from the local borstal which ended up in chaos. As usual this written in John's own inimatable style.
John Major continued his tale about "Joe", the use of a certain word spoken in the presence of a child, the repitition of that word by the child and its repercussions in the family. Again highly entertaining and a story with which we could all associate.
Christina's poem about divorce provided another unusual slant on the word. This one about her being divorced from inspiration in writing. This was obviously not the case for her to provide us with this offering.
Rosemary continued with an extract from her novel "John, Dementia and Me. This was an interesting item and various suggestions that were felt could improve the piece were made for her consideration.
Ian C
Alan started the session with a story entitled "Parting Of The Ways" and told of the appointment of a new manager in the office which leads to an affair and subsequent divorce. This was a good sustained piece for Alan as this was outwith his comfort zone.
Heinke followed on with her tale called "The Fish Ladder" and tells the story of a couple visiting a Hydro-Electric dam where the salmon, returning to their breeding grounds, have to use the fish ladder. It also concerned the couple with the male partner yearning for his youth while the female is more pragmatic. Again this was well written but it was thought that the section relating to the swallow chicks should be omitted as this was unnecessary.
Brenda took inspiration from the subject of cot death for her narrative dealing with a wife's resentment which leads to her murdering her husband. This was a very entertaining piece.
Anne G also used the theme of divorce for her item about married life and eventual breakup. This was a good piece of fiction with lots of good description.
Mary K's poem "With This Ring" used both themes taking us from church bells announcing marriage which ends up in divorce.
Mary S gave us a piece entitled "Church Bells of St. Mary's" and was about the memories of her home town she recalled while doing research into her family tree.
Ann B's poem "Divorce" was a celebration of a woman's new found freedom and provided a different slant on the subject.
Chris gave us a reworked version of "Going Home" now written from the man's point of view. This was considered to be better than the original although some members still did not get the ending.
Ann F did another letter from a daughter to her mother. This time it was the wife of Noah talking about the trials and tribulations of having to build a ship as well as catch animals. This was an extremely funny item and it was suggested that this form part of a series of similar letters.
Before commencing his reading, John McGregor announced that his book about hit time in the RAF had been published and that he did have a few copies with him. John was congratulated on his success. His reading for this week was about football matches for his employer and was specifically about a match between his team and one from the local borstal which ended up in chaos. As usual this written in John's own inimatable style.
John Major continued his tale about "Joe", the use of a certain word spoken in the presence of a child, the repitition of that word by the child and its repercussions in the family. Again highly entertaining and a story with which we could all associate.
Christina's poem about divorce provided another unusual slant on the word. This one about her being divorced from inspiration in writing. This was obviously not the case for her to provide us with this offering.
Rosemary continued with an extract from her novel "John, Dementia and Me. This was an interesting item and various suggestions that were felt could improve the piece were made for her consideration.
Ian C
Sunday, 9 January 2011
A Guid New Year
For the first meeting of the new year 19 members were in attendance.
Nik announced that there was now a healthy balance of 180 euros in the Circle's funds.
Following last week's meeting, discussion took place on what members wanted from the group and various suggestions were made about the use of themes, readings, critiques, competitions etc. During this time, Nik indicated that he had been contemplating for some time that, because of other commitments, he might relinquish the chairmanship of the group and, following further talk, it was agreed that, over the following weeks, the Circle would look to elect a new chairperson with the possibility of members taking on specific duties.
This week's theme was "Going Home".
Mary M told the story of an Irishman returning to his native land following a lengthy time working in the UK. This piece was well liked and received.
Cynthia told the tale about prostitutes and one specifically not going home. It was felt that this had good potential but that more impact could be generated with a different ending.
Gerry's piece was about a prisoner being released from an American prison. There was a lot of detail in this short story.
Chris gave us an item about the murder of a woman by a stalker. This was only a total of 371 words and was a contender for a flash fiction competition.
John Major gave us a reworked version of his "Windscreen" story. As usual, this was highly amusing and entertaining.
Phil read out a piece about a train journey in the middle of winter. This was an evocative item, full of good description.
Ann B's poem on this week's theme of "Going Home" was again about a murder.
Ian's tale was of a young soldier returning home from Afghanistan but only at the end did we realise that he was dead and the body was being repatriated.
Jane read out a very moving piece about a blind man, living in Canada, awaiting his birthday present which turned out to be the the sound of Canada geese returning home.
Anne G's story was a memory of returning home to her home town in Rochdale following a period in the Middle East and of the changes that had taken place.
Jenny gave us a story about an older person having to leave the comfort of a hospital to return home because the hospital needs the bed.
There was good variation on this week's theme with lots of different ideas being expressed.
Ian C
Nik announced that there was now a healthy balance of 180 euros in the Circle's funds.
Following last week's meeting, discussion took place on what members wanted from the group and various suggestions were made about the use of themes, readings, critiques, competitions etc. During this time, Nik indicated that he had been contemplating for some time that, because of other commitments, he might relinquish the chairmanship of the group and, following further talk, it was agreed that, over the following weeks, the Circle would look to elect a new chairperson with the possibility of members taking on specific duties.
This week's theme was "Going Home".
Mary M told the story of an Irishman returning to his native land following a lengthy time working in the UK. This piece was well liked and received.
Cynthia told the tale about prostitutes and one specifically not going home. It was felt that this had good potential but that more impact could be generated with a different ending.
Gerry's piece was about a prisoner being released from an American prison. There was a lot of detail in this short story.
Chris gave us an item about the murder of a woman by a stalker. This was only a total of 371 words and was a contender for a flash fiction competition.
John Major gave us a reworked version of his "Windscreen" story. As usual, this was highly amusing and entertaining.
Phil read out a piece about a train journey in the middle of winter. This was an evocative item, full of good description.
Ann B's poem on this week's theme of "Going Home" was again about a murder.
Ian's tale was of a young soldier returning home from Afghanistan but only at the end did we realise that he was dead and the body was being repatriated.
Jane read out a very moving piece about a blind man, living in Canada, awaiting his birthday present which turned out to be the the sound of Canada geese returning home.
Anne G's story was a memory of returning home to her home town in Rochdale following a period in the Middle East and of the changes that had taken place.
Jenny gave us a story about an older person having to leave the comfort of a hospital to return home because the hospital needs the bed.
There was good variation on this week's theme with lots of different ideas being expressed.
Ian C
Thursday, 30 December 2010
Review
Only 11 members were in attendance which allowed plenty of time for the hot pen which was scheduled as this weeks theme.
In the absence of Nik and Rob, Ian took the chair
Prior to the readings, it was agreed that, through this blog, acknowledgement should be made of the work carried out by Nik on behalf of the members. At this time, members took the opportunity to raise some issues which they felt warranted further discussion early in the New Year by a greater number of the members. These included
(1) Should all people, with the exception of invited guest speakers, be asked to pay towards the weekly cost of the meeting irrespective of whether they have a drink or not?
(2) Perhaps more individuals should be encouraged to write whether they wished to be published or not.
(3)With a view to (2) above members should preferrably be given only one weekly topic on which to write
and that preference be given to those who have written on the week's theme to read out their piece. It was also felt that by adopting this approach, individuals may be more forthcomingin thier comments as there would be a direct comparison of subject matter. To enable more members to read their piece it should be made clear that individual items should be restricted to 1,000 words maximum. As a trial run for the aforementioned, the consensus of opinion was that next week's theme should be "Going Home".
(4) There always seemed to be a lack of feedback on those who wrote poetry and that perhaps occasionally there should be a poetry week to encourage members to try a different medium, either rhyme or free verse as a challeng to their writing skills.
All of the above were presented for further discussion by the group.
Before commencing the hot pen Jenny gave us a flavour of Xmas Days Past when meals were taken by family members in various eating establishments.
Mary K gave us a poem entitled "Ringing in the New".
Anne G provided an insight into the Writers Circle with her poem.
Cynthia also took Xmas as her theme for her poetic contribution.
Jane gave an account of how siblings reacted when their mother died.
After the break the group undertook the hot pen with the randomly selected word "Go".
Gerry told the tale of a parting at a railway station.
Cynthia gave us a story of parents telling their daughter's boy friend to leave after his abuse of her.
Mary M gave an insight into a couple breaking up.
Mary K's poem was about attending a ball.
Ann B told of coping with the cold and snow and how she prefers living in Spain.
Mary S told of how recently she decided to go to the UK but was met by a lack of Xmas cheer and faced with nothing but doom and gloom.
Anne G gave us a story about children playing
Jane's contribution was about a family feuding at Xmas and was also about Granny not being there.
Jenny's piece was a poem about a prisoner.
Brenda wrote an item detailing her love of winter.
Ian told the story of a couple breaking up after a malicious office gossip tells on one of her colleagues.
Ian C
In the absence of Nik and Rob, Ian took the chair
Prior to the readings, it was agreed that, through this blog, acknowledgement should be made of the work carried out by Nik on behalf of the members. At this time, members took the opportunity to raise some issues which they felt warranted further discussion early in the New Year by a greater number of the members. These included
(1) Should all people, with the exception of invited guest speakers, be asked to pay towards the weekly cost of the meeting irrespective of whether they have a drink or not?
(2) Perhaps more individuals should be encouraged to write whether they wished to be published or not.
(3)With a view to (2) above members should preferrably be given only one weekly topic on which to write
and that preference be given to those who have written on the week's theme to read out their piece. It was also felt that by adopting this approach, individuals may be more forthcomingin thier comments as there would be a direct comparison of subject matter. To enable more members to read their piece it should be made clear that individual items should be restricted to 1,000 words maximum. As a trial run for the aforementioned, the consensus of opinion was that next week's theme should be "Going Home".
(4) There always seemed to be a lack of feedback on those who wrote poetry and that perhaps occasionally there should be a poetry week to encourage members to try a different medium, either rhyme or free verse as a challeng to their writing skills.
All of the above were presented for further discussion by the group.
Before commencing the hot pen Jenny gave us a flavour of Xmas Days Past when meals were taken by family members in various eating establishments.
Mary K gave us a poem entitled "Ringing in the New".
Anne G provided an insight into the Writers Circle with her poem.
Cynthia also took Xmas as her theme for her poetic contribution.
Jane gave an account of how siblings reacted when their mother died.
After the break the group undertook the hot pen with the randomly selected word "Go".
Gerry told the tale of a parting at a railway station.
Cynthia gave us a story of parents telling their daughter's boy friend to leave after his abuse of her.
Mary M gave an insight into a couple breaking up.
Mary K's poem was about attending a ball.
Ann B told of coping with the cold and snow and how she prefers living in Spain.
Mary S told of how recently she decided to go to the UK but was met by a lack of Xmas cheer and faced with nothing but doom and gloom.
Anne G gave us a story about children playing
Jane's contribution was about a family feuding at Xmas and was also about Granny not being there.
Jenny's piece was a poem about a prisoner.
Brenda wrote an item detailing her love of winter.
Ian told the story of a couple breaking up after a malicious office gossip tells on one of her colleagues.
Ian C
Tuesday, 28 December 2010
Xmas Feast
This week a total of 19 attended the meeting.
TJ kicked of proceedings with "Ceol Na Marra". A poem written in 3 parts, Solo, Duet, Coda about a man's love of the sea and a beautiful woman. This was well received by the group with lots of good lines. My favourite was the last verse,
I have a want to leave this lea
'Ceol Na Marra' hums in my ear
She sings the music of the sea,
"You know your destiny is here".
Maureen gave us a very descriptive piece with excellent imagery of a journey in Brazil.
Margaret's humourous narrative was on the joys(?) of dieting. Most apt for this time of year.
Jane vented her feelings with a rant on people with computers which seem to have taken over their lives.
Ian's story was a reworked version of the Tay Bridge Disaster. For those who had not heard it before the ending came as something of a surprise having been lulled into a false sense of security.
Mary K's poem was a Xmas message to the group using the letters of the word "Christmas".
Ann B also used the Xmas theme for her poem about the joys of the festive season. This was not one for the "Bah! Humbug!!" brigade.
John McGregor attempted something completely different for him-singing his item about song lyrics.
Heather took a rather philosophical look at Xmas with her poem about changing bodyshape and fashion throughout the year with each month bringing its own trials and tribulations.
John Major gave us a prequel to last week's reading about the two sales reps wnot wanting to attend the sales demonstration and who hatch their plot over lunch. This was a good insight to life on the road.
Jen explained her piece as poetic introductions to Christmas carols and songs that had been performed by her choir. This was innovative as it had everyone trying to guess which song would follow its intro.
Nik's item was a sci-fi piece about an being in outer space.
Last, but by no means least, Anne G. in her own inimitable style gave us her rendition of a Marriot Edgar poem entitled "The Battle of Hastings". This had everyone in fits of laughter and was a fitting end to the meeting.
Ian C
TJ kicked of proceedings with "Ceol Na Marra". A poem written in 3 parts, Solo, Duet, Coda about a man's love of the sea and a beautiful woman. This was well received by the group with lots of good lines. My favourite was the last verse,
I have a want to leave this lea
'Ceol Na Marra' hums in my ear
She sings the music of the sea,
"You know your destiny is here".
Maureen gave us a very descriptive piece with excellent imagery of a journey in Brazil.
Margaret's humourous narrative was on the joys(?) of dieting. Most apt for this time of year.
Jane vented her feelings with a rant on people with computers which seem to have taken over their lives.
Ian's story was a reworked version of the Tay Bridge Disaster. For those who had not heard it before the ending came as something of a surprise having been lulled into a false sense of security.
Mary K's poem was a Xmas message to the group using the letters of the word "Christmas".
Ann B also used the Xmas theme for her poem about the joys of the festive season. This was not one for the "Bah! Humbug!!" brigade.
John McGregor attempted something completely different for him-singing his item about song lyrics.
Heather took a rather philosophical look at Xmas with her poem about changing bodyshape and fashion throughout the year with each month bringing its own trials and tribulations.
John Major gave us a prequel to last week's reading about the two sales reps wnot wanting to attend the sales demonstration and who hatch their plot over lunch. This was a good insight to life on the road.
Jen explained her piece as poetic introductions to Christmas carols and songs that had been performed by her choir. This was innovative as it had everyone trying to guess which song would follow its intro.
Nik's item was a sci-fi piece about an being in outer space.
Last, but by no means least, Anne G. in her own inimitable style gave us her rendition of a Marriot Edgar poem entitled "The Battle of Hastings". This had everyone in fits of laughter and was a fitting end to the meeting.
Ian C
Tuesday, 21 December 2010
'Twas The Week Before Xmas
This week 20 members attended as well as 3 guests from the St. Javier Poetry Group.
Various apologies were tendered as well as Seasons Greetings.
Nik advised that he had received an email from Claire Lawrence from the "In Front" magazine indicating that she would accept submissions from members.
Details of a competition-Pop Fiction were available. This is for stories based on music.
This week's theme was "How Dare You".
John Major started the readings with a very humerous story about 2 sales reps., reluctant to go toa sales pitch, take extreme measures to avoid attendance.
Margaret gave us a poem, written from a male point of view which was inspired by a moment's experience in the port of Alicante.
Cynthia detailed the pitfalls of HD TV in her poem which detailed the imperfections of those appearing on the new media.
Glyn continued his "Khandahar" story relating his heroes recovery after being blown up.
John McG provided another funny tale entitled "Minced Beef". This was observations of John's culinary skills and provided a good sense of family life.
Chris took this week's theme for her poem about a man wearing pink.
Mary K's offering called "Are You Being Served?" outlined a personal experience of lack of service in a cafe/bar in Playa Flamenca.
Anne G provided a story about two companions, one of whom was to write a book about his expoloits in the Middle and Far East.
Jane's poem "The Joys of Xmas Shopping" was a nostalgic look to past Xmas.
Ian's offering was a poem written some time ago called "Santa Didn't Come". Members thought this was very sad and needed to be published somewhere.
Heather gave us another of her Rufus McGregor. the tartan toy dog, stories. In this one, Rufus becomes the star of the show when he takes part in a nativity play. This was a story with good observations.
Alan read two pieces although not written by him. The first was a story about a cat and the second about three dogs attending the vet. Both stories were very funny.
Nik's piece entitled "Normal Savage" was a story detailing the origins of Tarzan.
Ian C
Various apologies were tendered as well as Seasons Greetings.
Nik advised that he had received an email from Claire Lawrence from the "In Front" magazine indicating that she would accept submissions from members.
Details of a competition-Pop Fiction were available. This is for stories based on music.
This week's theme was "How Dare You".
John Major started the readings with a very humerous story about 2 sales reps., reluctant to go toa sales pitch, take extreme measures to avoid attendance.
Margaret gave us a poem, written from a male point of view which was inspired by a moment's experience in the port of Alicante.
Cynthia detailed the pitfalls of HD TV in her poem which detailed the imperfections of those appearing on the new media.
Glyn continued his "Khandahar" story relating his heroes recovery after being blown up.
John McG provided another funny tale entitled "Minced Beef". This was observations of John's culinary skills and provided a good sense of family life.
Chris took this week's theme for her poem about a man wearing pink.
Mary K's offering called "Are You Being Served?" outlined a personal experience of lack of service in a cafe/bar in Playa Flamenca.
Anne G provided a story about two companions, one of whom was to write a book about his expoloits in the Middle and Far East.
Jane's poem "The Joys of Xmas Shopping" was a nostalgic look to past Xmas.
Ian's offering was a poem written some time ago called "Santa Didn't Come". Members thought this was very sad and needed to be published somewhere.
Heather gave us another of her Rufus McGregor. the tartan toy dog, stories. In this one, Rufus becomes the star of the show when he takes part in a nativity play. This was a story with good observations.
Alan read two pieces although not written by him. The first was a story about a cat and the second about three dogs attending the vet. Both stories were very funny.
Nik's piece entitled "Normal Savage" was a story detailing the origins of Tarzan.
Ian C
Sunday, 19 December 2010
A Virgin Writes Home
Quite a few people asked Anne Flynn if they could have a copy of her latest piece for the Writers`Circle so she agreed to have it put on the blog.
A CHRISTMAS TALE
Honestly, mother its been a nightmare, an absolute nightmare. The last straw was having to go to Bethlehem for the census-taking but let me start at the beginning.
There I was busy sewing my wedding gown, when this white and gold apparition floated down and said I had been chosen to be the mother of the Son of God, but that I would have to remain a virgin as owing to a busy timetable it would not be possible for God to leave heaven. I said something along the lines of “What if I said no?” and the angel mumbled something along the lines that if I did not agree, swarms of locusts would cover the land and the rivers would be full of frogs, and blood. Politeness forbade me to mention that they had already tried that method once, but as I did not fancy drinking polluted water for the next year or so, I reluctantly agreed. Talk about Hobson´s choice!
Then another angel appeared to Joseph and told him that I would have a baby at the request of God, but that I would remain a virgin. Do you know what he said, mother? He said “If you believe that, you will believe anything” He went around sulking for a while , but after we had a big row I think he came to terms with the situation. Must remember to ask him if his angel threatened him with frogs as well.
So nine months into my pregnancy, Caesar Augustus decreed that we had to go to Bethlehem for the census. Nice timing, Augustus. I was pretty annoyed with Joseph because he had promised to put up some shelves in the kitchen and of course he put off doing the job for months, not to mention making a cot for the baby. “ Call yourself a carpenter,” I said, very sarcastically.
I had also asked him to book a room at the inn, but of course he forgot to ask cousin Matthew to do this when he made the journey to Bethlehem and – yes you have guessed it – when we arrived at the inn, it was full. I was in a right strop, I can tell you. “ No brownie points for forward planning then, Joseph,” I told him. It was fortunate that the innkeeper took pity on us and allowed us to sleep in his stable. Joseph trudged through the streets but there was no midwife available.What a fiasco! I will tell you something, mother, this baby will definitely be an only child. I am not going through that again, frogs or no frogs.
So there we were, just settling down for a nice cup of coffee with the baby asleep in the manger when a whole group of shepherds come calling. Yes you have guessed it. Yet another pesky angel had been spreading the word- Not content with that, a whole choir of angels arrived at the hillside and started singing. Must have frightened the sheep, no end. Anyway to cut a long story short, the shepherds came to have a look at their Saviour. One of them said to Joseph “the baby looks just like you” which gave me a the best laugh I had had in months. I told them the baby was to be called Jesus as my angel had requested. I had always liked the name Luke better, but my angel had a rather a forceful personality so I did not make too much of a fuss. By the time the shepherds had left my coffee was stone cold.
Joseph and I completed the census and started making plans to return home but just as we were ready to depart three kings from the east came wandering in. They had traveled hundreds of miles, they said, with the aid of a star which had showed them the way. Well, it makes a change from angels. They were very thoughtful and had brought the baby gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. The first two would come in handy, but myrrh is a symbol of suffering. As if I had not suffered enough already!
So that´s the end of my tale of woe, mother. Joseph still has not put up the kitchen shelves, but at least I now have a cot for the baby. I wonder what the future holds for him? Whatever happens I hope he does not turn out to be a carpenter, like his father.
A CHRISTMAS TALE
Honestly, mother its been a nightmare, an absolute nightmare. The last straw was having to go to Bethlehem for the census-taking but let me start at the beginning.
There I was busy sewing my wedding gown, when this white and gold apparition floated down and said I had been chosen to be the mother of the Son of God, but that I would have to remain a virgin as owing to a busy timetable it would not be possible for God to leave heaven. I said something along the lines of “What if I said no?” and the angel mumbled something along the lines that if I did not agree, swarms of locusts would cover the land and the rivers would be full of frogs, and blood. Politeness forbade me to mention that they had already tried that method once, but as I did not fancy drinking polluted water for the next year or so, I reluctantly agreed. Talk about Hobson´s choice!
Then another angel appeared to Joseph and told him that I would have a baby at the request of God, but that I would remain a virgin. Do you know what he said, mother? He said “If you believe that, you will believe anything” He went around sulking for a while , but after we had a big row I think he came to terms with the situation. Must remember to ask him if his angel threatened him with frogs as well.
So nine months into my pregnancy, Caesar Augustus decreed that we had to go to Bethlehem for the census. Nice timing, Augustus. I was pretty annoyed with Joseph because he had promised to put up some shelves in the kitchen and of course he put off doing the job for months, not to mention making a cot for the baby. “ Call yourself a carpenter,” I said, very sarcastically.
I had also asked him to book a room at the inn, but of course he forgot to ask cousin Matthew to do this when he made the journey to Bethlehem and – yes you have guessed it – when we arrived at the inn, it was full. I was in a right strop, I can tell you. “ No brownie points for forward planning then, Joseph,” I told him. It was fortunate that the innkeeper took pity on us and allowed us to sleep in his stable. Joseph trudged through the streets but there was no midwife available.What a fiasco! I will tell you something, mother, this baby will definitely be an only child. I am not going through that again, frogs or no frogs.
So there we were, just settling down for a nice cup of coffee with the baby asleep in the manger when a whole group of shepherds come calling. Yes you have guessed it. Yet another pesky angel had been spreading the word- Not content with that, a whole choir of angels arrived at the hillside and started singing. Must have frightened the sheep, no end. Anyway to cut a long story short, the shepherds came to have a look at their Saviour. One of them said to Joseph “the baby looks just like you” which gave me a the best laugh I had had in months. I told them the baby was to be called Jesus as my angel had requested. I had always liked the name Luke better, but my angel had a rather a forceful personality so I did not make too much of a fuss. By the time the shepherds had left my coffee was stone cold.
Joseph and I completed the census and started making plans to return home but just as we were ready to depart three kings from the east came wandering in. They had traveled hundreds of miles, they said, with the aid of a star which had showed them the way. Well, it makes a change from angels. They were very thoughtful and had brought the baby gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. The first two would come in handy, but myrrh is a symbol of suffering. As if I had not suffered enough already!
So that´s the end of my tale of woe, mother. Joseph still has not put up the kitchen shelves, but at least I now have a cot for the baby. I wonder what the future holds for him? Whatever happens I hope he does not turn out to be a carpenter, like his father.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)