Wednesday, 25 January 2012.

Strange things happened this morning. There was advance notice that writing would be required of all combatants. That is, to write where you are with no hiding in your usual dark corner. Previously, whenever a ‘hot pen’ was mentioned some ladies dived into their voluminous handbags and a couple of ‘Alpha’ males hid under the table. This time the opposite happened for we had a large number of souls in attendance with everyone writing. Wow! What a result.

Improvisation was the key word with a blank page on which to perform. Ian encouraged us all with merely ‘pick up your pen and start writing’. Then ten minutes later came, ‘time up’.

Topics or slants on the theme ranged from serious to sad, hilarious to humorous, ranting to religious or bits that could be contained in a short story. Laughter followed some of the readings with other items encouraging personal thoughts. You can take from each what you will.

Ian, led by example, with a previously prepared article entitled ‘cheat’ which was very appropriate. He talked about handwriting, stumbling over illegibility and flitting minds. I wonder, what did he really mean?

I could be here most of the week if I included everything that people had read, so I decided that I would pick out some salient points. These would of course include Heinke’s performance that was delivered in her usual fun way. TJ went on about that ‘he could not find Willie’. After, these two, I was certainly discombobulated but I still remember bits and pieces (although ‘I was not glad all over’). I made a note of a lady in bookshop wearing second hand clothes, then somebody made a contribution which was ‘off the wall’ about internet connections and farting in the bath.

At least three had the audacity to write in rhyme. How dare they!  Bloody well done for I am not biased- am I? Some idiot ranted about large families living on the state and even had the cheek to question the parentage of civil servants. Please, no more of that I told myself.

We had some personal references with Jayne’s ‘life saver’ after a sad moment to Judy’s decision whether to sign on the dotted line or not. Whatever she decided, it would be life changing too. Well done for sharing something as sensitive as these two issues.

Then John Mac dived in with something very personal. The only notes I seem to have, relate to a fat, Spanish gay doctor and someone being prostrate for a prostate examination. There must have been a connection there-somewhere.

We had other comments such as ‘democracy, how can you vote when you have a choice’, items hidden in knickers and bras, (small items only), the need to shoot someone, philosophy, swimming against the tide, an unexpected twin arriving second and being brought up in ‘The Blitz’, a ‘gazunder’, retiring in to one’s shell and ‘hanging onto a triangle with almond blossom. Visualise, if you must.

Heather decided to read her Limericks and I have attached them. I think that they are always fun to do. Here they are.

My grandparents now live in Spain

They went there to escape from the rain

It's true what you hear

That for most of the year

There are blue skies again and again.

The houses are different but fun

They have shutters to keep out the sun

The ceiling fans spin

And make quite a din

And tiled floors are so hard on the bum.

It's incredibly warm in the sea

So clear you see down past your knee

Tiny fishes swim round

Your feet in the sand

And you know this is the place to be.

In summer it's too hot to think

Deep down in the pool you must sink

Or the sun on your head

Might send you to bed

And turn you hair parting to pink.

After a short break we had five minutes to write on ‘SILENCE’. There was no problem there.

Someone tried to put a preamble in before he read his piece and was ordered to be – Silent. Just do as you are told. The topics ranged from a third son having to go into the church (not just to visit either), inane chatter, snakes and throttling, monkeys in the mind, white noise and Rob did a piece with dialogue in it and something to do with a Juke Box. We ended up with a mention of ‘Armistice’ and someone had a fish like pen and said that the Gods were not to be blamed.

A final note includes more of these exercises. A reminder for the theme for next week and that asks you about what you have been reading and to write a book review. Please, remember another OPEN MIC night is looming and it is on Tuesday 7^th February. Thank you.

John Edwards 25^th January, 2012