11th January 2012

This grey morning saw a good turnout, who braved the chill in the air, aches, pains, coughs and sniffles. We heard some great stuff and what a mixture it was.

Ian returned to the chair after a short absence, and mentioned articles and competitions that he had found in Writers Magazine. He requested that the one and only copy be returned swiftly so that others can look at it. There is a special offer advertised to new subscribers for £9.99 for a three month trial. It is a thought!

Mary Norris read a piece left over from last week on the theme of ´wish I had said no´. No prizes for the way this one went, for a bit of good humour with a mention of sex always works. Some of us were too dignified to say anything of course but others were less shy. She then carried on with the theme for this week- after Christmas. Both reads were fun and an entertaining way to start the morning.

Cynthia gave us her take on the theme. It was really all about basics-booze, inebriation and positioning. She recounted how she had become ´trapped in a toilet´, in the dark. It was the gents of course and she did find a man with his hands full. What a surprise for both. She ended with that well known line of ´two old ladies locked in a lavatory´. It raised quire a laugh. 

Douglas changed the tone completely with how a very tired Santa returned to his year long grotto but his wonderful Elf helpers discovered two undelivered presents for children in New Zealand-it would have to be that far. Two elves solved it easily by flying the wrong way around the world and pushing back the clock for two kids in NZ who did get their pressies smack on time. (Has Dr Who ever done that?) What an enjoyable tale, unsullied by smut.

Michael came up trumps yet again with a poem entitled ´the house is quiet now´ that we all enjoyed and the praise, was accompanied with applause. Now, tell me again that you can´t write poetry. Once in the blood it may stay for some time. Keep at it.

Ro read from a piece from her crime novel which could have stood alone as a short story. She prefaced her beginning with ´Shall I give up or what?´ Meaning is it rubbish or shall I carry on with it. The answer was yes-keep bloody writing. Paraphrasing, it was about an intimate fading relationship with the two of them sitting in a restaurant having a too loud a conversation. Who listens to other peoples conversations anyway? Other tables did.

Comments included- dialogue very good-stimulated comment-generally there was supportive feedback but Ian said that some actions needed looking at in her description of events.

For the next 15 minutes we were entertained by John McGregor´s film script, based on his adventures in the RAF and you can read all about it in his book. He included a lot of direction as to what scene was being filmed and he was aided in the dialogue by Ro, Phil and Michael. It was amusing with loadsa references to booze and sex. Lots of showing as well as some telling. He ended by saying that ´he had never been to bed with an ugly woman but had woken up next to a few´ I´m all in favour of letting people smile and be happy.

SCI-FI came next with Brenda reading her story on amazing krill and how they were there to save the world after all the abuse us humans had dished out. She talked about deep sea divers, dreams, hallucinations and the power to do good. It stimulated much feedback and a general discussion took place. Some people thought that the ending was not clear but Phil felt that it was up to individuals to form their own. It was said that the moral of the story was ´no waste, no more wars´.  What are you going to do with this Brenda?

After a short break and casual verbal interactions we resumed with Phil on his miserable view of Christmas. You named it, he slagged it off, put his verbal boot into adverts, fast food and anything that he could think of. I won´t mention any names but he articulated a few. I agree with him. We don´t need rubbish fast food for we can cook. We await the invite!

Clever with words, as always and he got a deserving round of applause.

He ended by talking about crapulent and he then threw in discombobulation, for good measure. I was already confused, anyway.

We then heard from the female end of the room who all wrote on the theme. Chris claimed that she could not be that erudite but however had a good stab at it with her version of the misery of the season. She exclaimed ´bugger it all´ and Úp yours to the all of December´.

Ann followed that and talked about dropping dresses, rolls of fat and big bums-all in rhyme.

Mary stayed with the plot and the female take on it and brought more laughter into the room

Mery, not to be outdone gave a rhyming verse or two with ´Happy New Year´

The depression was lifted by Jenny who gave us a glimpse of delicate love and affection with an ´adonis-esque´ type. This built up to her punch line of ´so, what did you say your name was’. Great timing and hoots of laughter.

Ann stayed on that bloody festive theme with bah humbug and Jane really cheered us up with insults from a guest that she has entertained for years on Christmas Day. Unnecessary and extremely upsetting for her and there was empathy in abundance. There are so many nasty people around. However, I think that she was amply rewarded afterwards!

Comment:- Phil liked it and the ending left us with something to guess about. Michael encouraged her to expand it. Anyway, I liked it.

Heather carried on from last week about a seasonal party with national differences being thrown into the mix. Great humour and it sounded good. Clearly things did not go to plan and she gave us a couple of lines from ´I will survive´ Then another caller came  about the noise where Heather Wished her a Happy New Year which was followed by that endearing phrase ánd sod off´. Clearly good fun loving neighbours are hard to come by!

Rob followed that with short piece of Happy New Year and I followed that with Elizabeth Bishop´s poem Ínsomnia´. A touch of class is always special.

Next week it is ´The Outing´to write to with a workshop the following week. It was all inspirational. Keep at it. Don´t forget The Open Mic on 7^th February.


John Edwards