Lottsa Leftovers.

I should have concentrated more and taken better notes. I should have done the blog on Wednesday afternoon instead of leaving it till Sunday morning. Just having read through my notes, I realise I don´t remember much and the notes are definitely cryptic. Still, it´s me doing the blog so this is it - apologies in advance.

Anne Flynn took the Chair as Ian was away.

Leftovers from last week took the floor first.


Lisa, read a story for 3 - 6 year olds. It is her fourth re-write and the powers-that-be had said it needed to be less middle class and 1000 words. At the moment she´s at 1200 words and needed some input to satisfy these PTB. Suggestions were made by the goup.

Jane read out a previously heard Gascony tale which she is polishing prior to publication(?).

Brenda´s Belle was violently raped in the exerpt read out. Very strong piece, well-handled, it was felt.

Graham read out a piece called "Sweethearts", which I think was very clever but since it was based around cricket, it all went over my head.

We then proceeded with the members who´d written for the day.

Maureen wrote a very funny piece on finding love at 60+. Cries of what used to be sexual ecstasy now indicate cramp, the gazing into each others´eyes is most likely to check that your partner isn´t asleep...  Thought to be a good piece for "The Oldie".

Pamela read out more of her account of her life.

Newbie Gerry, had written a piece called "Winter´s Journey" describing a walk. It was intended to help him get over his hatred of the season.

Avril had a poem called "Rainbow Colours".

Chris read 2 poems - "The Waiting Game" and "Hobby".

John McGregor wrote something beginning " Geoffrey said, I think I´ll sleep without my pyjama bottoms"

Heather read a lovely poem written when her daughter´s baby was born.

Douglas ended the session with something called " The Assassins" about reporters.

As with last week, there were leftovers: Nan, Stan, Gerry, and Sara.

Next week is a HOT PEN !!!!!

Chris J

Hobbies, Appalling Holidays, Lost Libido.

Ian swung into his second week as chair with relaxed panache, boding well for the future.
Three members were "leftovers" from last time and we began with them.

Margaret Rowland read two pieces.
Her first, a short story about the members of an Indian family, told of the visit of Aunty Nellie who looked as if " she had been let loose in the make-up box" and who, to the great consternation of everyone was wearing white knickers under black tights with no covering dress. Deemed a good mood piece it nevertheless had point of view problems and several members admitted to finding this a difficult area. Her second piece "Morning Duty" described a little boy arriving at school clutching the possessions of a recently deceased parent. Very moving.

Nan read the first pages of her novel set in a mining community in the 1930s. The description of the pit accident was very atmospheric but it was felt could be dramatically improved by altering the order of the events.

Stan´s piece was a lovely description of his role as grandad when his family holidays in Spain.

Iarle, the new man, read his poem about the burial of a dog using word play on tail/tale. Ian thought it "Beckett-ish"

Alan Winter described an unusual hobby he has - collecting golf markers and had brought in one for us to see. ( another unusual hobby is pictured above )

Glyn, having scrutinised the rules of the competition he has entered (which state that no offensive language be used (!!!!!) ), had "sanitised " an exerpt of his novel to see what we thought.

John McCormack read a piece he was about to send off to his tutor at the Open University, called "A Policeman´s Lot". Having both sung the Gilbert and Sullivan and read the piece we gave him an A+.

Heather was sitting next to John and I have her name in my notes but absolutely nothing else. Apologies, Heather.

Anne Flynn, in her inimitable style, read exerpts from a "Dementia Diary". Very funny indeed.

Mary K, standing at the front, shouted her poem starting " I lost my libido this morning" and pondered whether what she had seen the cat chewing could have been it..............

Jane read a piece from her Gascony Tales called "Military Exercises".

Douglas described his TV heroine Judge Judy.

Finally, today´s theme, An Appalling Holiday":( those on holiday in Florida, take note of the sign at the top!)

Anne Grierson described a harrowing experience in Spain dodging timeshare touts
and
Jenny wrote a poem, which is here on the blog.

Another entertaining and instructive meeting. 

Jenny´s Poem

Worked overtime each day

Saving all the pay

For a week in the sun

with my mates to have some fun.

So me, John and Patrick

Arrived on time at Gatwick.

We’d asked for  somewhere warm

So we booked for Benidorm

But much to our dismay

There was a 3 hour delay

So we had to hit the bars

And down a right few jars.

On the plane we were sick as dogs

And had to share the only 2 bogs

And when we arrived in Spain

There was torrential rain.

We were told,”It wont last long”

But sadly they were wrong

We weren’t expecting this

Someones taking the piss.

We were taken to our hotel

It had a horrid, fusty smell.

The room was small and pokey

And there was no Kareoke.

It was cold and we felt rough

Should have gone to Magaluf.

The mozzies were rife and  stinging

And the food was really minging.

The rain lasted  throughout the trip

So all we did was drink and kip

And take turns on the loo

There was nothing else to do.

Complained to Thomas Cooke

But they didn’t give a fuck.

Snake Charmers, Chamberlain, and RIBS.

 The first week with Ian as Chair - and a very good job he made of it. Well done, that man!

A new member, Avril was welcomed and altogether we were around twenty members present. Not bad, considering there were no biccies on offer!

A short discussion on whether or not we should invest in a microphone resulted in a fairly resounding "No", as it was deemed too expensive and not really neccessary. Mary K was ordered to shout more and stand at the front.

Margaret, Lisa and Anne Grierson offered to take a hand at the blog but since most people were hesitant as to how to go about it, Ian said he´d knock up a foolproof guide as to how to access the blog and write a post.

Alan Gillespie wrote about a schoolboy who plays truant and has an accident.
                                                                                                               Brenda, who has an aversion to the sea , had been asked to bring her writing skills into play and do a short article on a boat trip  with a sailing club which was marking the launch of its new RIB ( Rigid Inflatable Boat). Her piece was very well-done and she is to be congratulated as articles aren´t her normal comfort zone.             

Jane is polishing up her Gascony Tales with a serious view to publication and regaled us with the story of the stocky red-faced farmer neighbour who was obsessed with her body. (!!!)

Newbie Avril read us a poem about a visit to her son in Australia. Good start Avril!

Mary K wrote a clever poem entitled "Partners in Rhyme" about two rival poets wrting a poem together, one line each, and having to make the lines rhyme. 

Anne Braithwaite gave us a diary extract describing a week of disaster for the family cars.

Chris J read the final rewrite of a piece of bloodthirsty flashfiction.

Heather´s poem was about stopping smoking, although it wasn´t revealed until the very end what it was that was being given up. Clever.

Douglas had written an anecdotal piece about 3/9/1939, when Neville Chamberlain announced, rather prematurely, that there would be "Peace in our time".

Alan Winter´s anecdote was the sad tale of a dozing snake charmer, an escaped King Cobra, and the resulting death of the Belgian Consul-General´s wife.

Gerry had rewritten last week´s piece taken from his story about the Battle of Gettysburg. It was deemed better in some ways but the general feeling was that Gerry needs to flesh out his backstory so that Josh, the main character, becomes more believable. Not to be downcast, Gerry promised to take the advice to heart and do some more rewriting. Good for him!!

Unfortunately there wasn´t quite enough time so Nan, Stan and Margaret will start next time.

If you´re reading this Nik, hope things are going well with the editing and that you´re enjoying your Kindle.
Everyone present today said how much they´d enjoyed last week and they all wished you well.

Hasta la Próxima Vez !

Chris J