Comments Please

Because the Poem I read this morning was a 'work in progress'  I thought I would put it on the Blog and ask for your comments.  I particularly don't like the pace of stanza six, the metre, it seems to me, is all wrong, so comments would be very welcome.  Please comment on the rhyme scheme, but I do like random rhyme, if it's off, I don't mind and if it's repeated I don't mind.  Sometimes it grates a bit, but with out loud reading (the sort of poetry I like)  It's fun.  Here it is!

Unlock Love

 

Love is out there I know

the scribbled Graffiti tells me so.

R writes, R hearts J, forever

R asks will we be parted?  J answers.  Never

 

Some are artists, neat and tidy,

some written on Monday are crossed out on Friday.

Some psychedelic in spiralled hues

have taken Eros as their muse.

 

Lovers would give a lock of hair, a token,

a remembrance of a moment stolen,

a promise never to be broken,

secreted pledges of devotion.

 

Love, shout out loud, a declaration

embrace freedom,  emancipation.

No ties to love, a spirit free

that allows you; me; and sometimes we.

 

Why lock love to bridge and rail

love for eternity cast in goal.

With etched dates, initials riveted verse,

what pledge could possibly be worse?

 

Keys to locks dumped at sea,

love barred, is that our destiny.

What if lovers are locked in misery

and that vital key, buried at sea?

 

Cold metal hanging from a rail

chained love is always doomed to fail.

Love’s not static, it has lows and highs.

In a moment, can catch you by surprise.

 

Chained love is not for me

love isn’t bondage. It’s free

to seize at every opportunity

unchain it now for posterity.

 

©Margaret  Rowland2013  rowlandchapman@hotmail.co.uk